Tuesday, February 9, 2010
i like whales.
sidenote: somehow i've been living under a rock - how have i never heard of modest mouse?! have YOU heard of modest mouse? they're amazing!!! i love them! i've missed my musical genre. all this time they've been existing and i've been oblivious.
disclaimer: despite it's misleading cartoonish appearance, there is a cussword in this video. but it makes me laugh because it reminds me of these guys (which also contains a cussword. so double disclaimer):
but back to the point.
i like whales.
Monday, February 8, 2010
motivation
i just skimmed the wikipedia's vast knowledge on the word 'motivation' and i didn't realize all that was involved! intrinsic vs. extrinsic, the incentive theory, drive reduction, cognitive dissonance, need theories, herzberg's two-factor theory, not to be confused with volition or optimism...
good gravy!
that explains a lot.
i've been wrestling with the idea that i don't understand why i'm motivated sometimes and not other times - why my inner energizer bunny sometimes feels like someone stole his batteries, but then other times feels like he got zapped with a tazer gun and is going hypersonic speed.
all this time i've been trying to put my finger on what it's all about, but i didn't realize that there's an entire science behind it all! i can go to bed at ease tonight. i'm not slow after all, i just haven't done the research.
and no, i'm not going to do the research, but at least now i feel better knowing it's taken a whole panel of people to develop these impressive sounding theories which have all remained just that - theories, and nobody's really figured it out yet.
mainly i'm talking about the whole vast world of exercising - to jog or not to jog, to lift weights or just do a few situps, or better yet, to skip the whole thing and take a bath and eat ice cream (preferably at the same time)...
in a broader sense, it can be so frustrating to one day feel like i could accomplish at least 10 of the things on my 'things to do before i die' list without breaking a sweat and other days i feel like i can barely muster up enough energy to move my eyeballs.
you're probably thinking i'm either pschizophrenic or bipolar... don't worry, mostly i'm just exaggerating for emphasis.
what is it about the elusiveness of motivation? i tend to think it has something to do with the amount of processed foods consumed - that they muck up the digestive system & make you feel like sludge. but since pretty much everything is processed, we feel like sludge every day so you think it's normal. and then one or two days a year you accidentally eat unsludge - a friendly neighbor makes you some apple bran muffins and you don't have anything else to take for lunch so it's a banana and plain yogurt... and suddenly, the sky's the limit!
or maybe it's hormones - after coming off a particularly pesky week of emotional irritability, you find yourself gliding along in a cloud of goodwill, juggling work, husband, dirty dishes & the treadmill effortlessly - even perhaps getting in a little basement remodeling while you're at it.
or maybe it's just the ocean tides.
all i know is, today was one of those gliding days, and i wish i had more of them. i want to find the equation that made today happen & write it down somewhere permanent so i can reproduce it again and again.
i'm sick of the days when my limbs feel like lead and i sit and stare out the window for no reason at all. it's not even a pretty view.
an equation would be nice. but then maybe it would make these effortless days not seem so miraculous. and maybe life would be a little less colorful. like whoever it was that said, 'the colors wouldn't be as bright if it weren't for the shadows.'
but really? are we sure that's true?
good gravy!
that explains a lot.
i've been wrestling with the idea that i don't understand why i'm motivated sometimes and not other times - why my inner energizer bunny sometimes feels like someone stole his batteries, but then other times feels like he got zapped with a tazer gun and is going hypersonic speed.
all this time i've been trying to put my finger on what it's all about, but i didn't realize that there's an entire science behind it all! i can go to bed at ease tonight. i'm not slow after all, i just haven't done the research.
and no, i'm not going to do the research, but at least now i feel better knowing it's taken a whole panel of people to develop these impressive sounding theories which have all remained just that - theories, and nobody's really figured it out yet.
mainly i'm talking about the whole vast world of exercising - to jog or not to jog, to lift weights or just do a few situps, or better yet, to skip the whole thing and take a bath and eat ice cream (preferably at the same time)...
in a broader sense, it can be so frustrating to one day feel like i could accomplish at least 10 of the things on my 'things to do before i die' list without breaking a sweat and other days i feel like i can barely muster up enough energy to move my eyeballs.
you're probably thinking i'm either pschizophrenic or bipolar... don't worry, mostly i'm just exaggerating for emphasis.
what is it about the elusiveness of motivation? i tend to think it has something to do with the amount of processed foods consumed - that they muck up the digestive system & make you feel like sludge. but since pretty much everything is processed, we feel like sludge every day so you think it's normal. and then one or two days a year you accidentally eat unsludge - a friendly neighbor makes you some apple bran muffins and you don't have anything else to take for lunch so it's a banana and plain yogurt... and suddenly, the sky's the limit!
or maybe it's hormones - after coming off a particularly pesky week of emotional irritability, you find yourself gliding along in a cloud of goodwill, juggling work, husband, dirty dishes & the treadmill effortlessly - even perhaps getting in a little basement remodeling while you're at it.
or maybe it's just the ocean tides.
all i know is, today was one of those gliding days, and i wish i had more of them. i want to find the equation that made today happen & write it down somewhere permanent so i can reproduce it again and again.
i'm sick of the days when my limbs feel like lead and i sit and stare out the window for no reason at all. it's not even a pretty view.
an equation would be nice. but then maybe it would make these effortless days not seem so miraculous. and maybe life would be a little less colorful. like whoever it was that said, 'the colors wouldn't be as bright if it weren't for the shadows.'
but really? are we sure that's true?
Sunday, February 7, 2010
sunday ramblings
i think it's winter talking here, but lately i've been ravenous for a good story. you know the kind, where you are pulled into the alternate reality created by the author... every part of your mind feels like you are actually there with the main characters... your emotions feel what they're feeling right alongside of them... you find yourself laughing or crying then looking around to make sure no one's in the room...
there's nothing better than a good book. nick would argue that the only thing better than a good book is a good movie - i would have to disagree. i'd take a book any day. i think it's because not only does the author present you with their unique imagination, but they also invite you to participate in it with them. they describe the scene, but it's up to their reader to color it in and fill it with smells and expressions and emotions. a good book is like a partnership between the author and the reader. you can become an active participant in the author's world.
watching a movie can occasionally move you into that same participation, but usually it's a passive experience. entertaining, for sure, but in no way as engaging of the mind and senses and total imagination. yep, give me a good book any day.
my aunt and mom have long been extolling the outlander series by diana gabaldon. i finally read the first one of them and i have to say, it was a good book! it was so gripping, i read it within a week, which is saying something since it's like 700 pages long. there's too much sexiness in it for nick to read, which is sad because it's set in scotland (his favorite place). i kind of wish there weren't so many steamy scenes - it's like rated R movies - there's really no need to include some of the stuff in there. it would be just as good a book even if the sex scenes were toned down a notch or two (or ten). but steaminess aside, the story line is fiction at its finest. and the exciting thing is, there's 7 (or 8) books in the series so i have a long future of good books ahead of me. reading a good book can be bittersweet at times when you know it's so enthralling that you don't want it to end, but you also want to read it fast to find out what happens... when there's a whole series ahead of you though, it's a nice anticipatory feeling. i can't wait to find out more of all the adventurous happenings in the outlander series.
sadly, i have to wait for book 2 to come in the mail - i ordered it at half.com & it should be in tomorrow or the next day. the last week i've been writhing in mental malaise, wanting to know what happens next. i've been trying to console myself by reading an old favorite - c.s. lewis' space trilogy, and it's working somewhat.
despite my best attempts to hunt down the next book in the outlander series, i've failed at almost every turn - at our local library it was checked out, my high school library doesn't carry it, nick's college library had to send off for it through interlibrary loan... i finally caved & ordered it online, but then had nick's interlibrary go ahead and request books 3, 4 & 5 so i have them on hand. it's always good to be prepared.
tonight nick and i found ourselves at books-a-million & wouldn't you know, they have book 2 there. so we spent a couple of hours in the bookstore, nick browsing, me devouring dragonfly in amber. paying $16 at b.a.m. did not strike me as appealing as just waiting for my $4 copy from half.com though, so now i'm back to being patient.
(or maybe sneaking to b.a.m. a couple hours a day until it comes in the mail...)
before we hit the bookstore, nick and i went for a bracing walk by the lake at dusk. it's supposed to snow again tomorrow so we may have another snow day, who knows. just in case, i needed to get some fresh air & change of scenery. i'm a homebody for sure, but sometimes even i can have too much of home. lately i've had repeated hankerings to go on adventures. probably winter talking again.
there's nothing better than a good book. nick would argue that the only thing better than a good book is a good movie - i would have to disagree. i'd take a book any day. i think it's because not only does the author present you with their unique imagination, but they also invite you to participate in it with them. they describe the scene, but it's up to their reader to color it in and fill it with smells and expressions and emotions. a good book is like a partnership between the author and the reader. you can become an active participant in the author's world.
watching a movie can occasionally move you into that same participation, but usually it's a passive experience. entertaining, for sure, but in no way as engaging of the mind and senses and total imagination. yep, give me a good book any day.
my aunt and mom have long been extolling the outlander series by diana gabaldon. i finally read the first one of them and i have to say, it was a good book! it was so gripping, i read it within a week, which is saying something since it's like 700 pages long. there's too much sexiness in it for nick to read, which is sad because it's set in scotland (his favorite place). i kind of wish there weren't so many steamy scenes - it's like rated R movies - there's really no need to include some of the stuff in there. it would be just as good a book even if the sex scenes were toned down a notch or two (or ten). but steaminess aside, the story line is fiction at its finest. and the exciting thing is, there's 7 (or 8) books in the series so i have a long future of good books ahead of me. reading a good book can be bittersweet at times when you know it's so enthralling that you don't want it to end, but you also want to read it fast to find out what happens... when there's a whole series ahead of you though, it's a nice anticipatory feeling. i can't wait to find out more of all the adventurous happenings in the outlander series.
sadly, i have to wait for book 2 to come in the mail - i ordered it at half.com & it should be in tomorrow or the next day. the last week i've been writhing in mental malaise, wanting to know what happens next. i've been trying to console myself by reading an old favorite - c.s. lewis' space trilogy, and it's working somewhat.
despite my best attempts to hunt down the next book in the outlander series, i've failed at almost every turn - at our local library it was checked out, my high school library doesn't carry it, nick's college library had to send off for it through interlibrary loan... i finally caved & ordered it online, but then had nick's interlibrary go ahead and request books 3, 4 & 5 so i have them on hand. it's always good to be prepared.
tonight nick and i found ourselves at books-a-million & wouldn't you know, they have book 2 there. so we spent a couple of hours in the bookstore, nick browsing, me devouring dragonfly in amber. paying $16 at b.a.m. did not strike me as appealing as just waiting for my $4 copy from half.com though, so now i'm back to being patient.
(or maybe sneaking to b.a.m. a couple hours a day until it comes in the mail...)
before we hit the bookstore, nick and i went for a bracing walk by the lake at dusk. it's supposed to snow again tomorrow so we may have another snow day, who knows. just in case, i needed to get some fresh air & change of scenery. i'm a homebody for sure, but sometimes even i can have too much of home. lately i've had repeated hankerings to go on adventures. probably winter talking again.
these trees that we passed on our walk were much taller in person than they look in this picture - they were statuesque, to say the least! it's possible they are the tallest trees in branson. i wouldn't be surprised.
and speaking of surprises, you're probably surprised that i'm blogging so much these days. so am i, to be frank. who knows what happened, but i suddenly feel this influx of motivation to blog it up. maybe a hiatus was in order, and now i'm back.
but no promises. we'll just go with the flow and see where it takes us.
happy [possible] snow day tomorrow!
do you read this blog?
i think something that might help me with my posting inconsistencies would be to know who you are.
i know who 8 of you are - over there in the right margin, your name or picture is under the title 'groupies'. whether you like it or not, i've labeled you my groupies. that makes me a self-absorbed, talentless band and that makes you long, flowing skirt wearing screaming fans.
if you read this would you make sure to click the button over there? i'd like to have faces to put above the long flowing skirts.
oh, and thanks for reading :-)
despite the posting inconsistencies.
i know who 8 of you are - over there in the right margin, your name or picture is under the title 'groupies'. whether you like it or not, i've labeled you my groupies. that makes me a self-absorbed, talentless band and that makes you long, flowing skirt wearing screaming fans.
if you read this would you make sure to click the button over there? i'd like to have faces to put above the long flowing skirts.
oh, and thanks for reading :-)
despite the posting inconsistencies.
Friday, February 5, 2010
updates
while we're on a blogging roll here (i took a 2 hour nap & nick's at poker night), i might as well give you a quick update on the frieds.
let's see, what's new...
i've had a student teacher in my classroom the last 4 weeks... that's something. there are 3 art teachers at my school so we each have the student teacher for 2 classes during the day. when the head of the art department told me about it at the beginning of the semester, my first thought was, 'wait, don't you have to be a teacher for 5 years to have a student teacher?' but then i realized - oh yeah, this is my 6th year! time sure does fly when you're not looking! having her student teach has been quite the experience. i've discovered that it's extremely hard to have a student teacher. it's hard to share my classroom and give up that time when i would have taught certain things to my classes but couldn't. i have to decide if i'm going to go back and re-teach what she taught or just skip over it and count it a loss for those two classes. i also feel sad to not have had those kids - it's like i spent time developing relationships but then had to hand them over to someone else and step aside. i haven't liked it. makes me look back on my student teaching and be thankful for the teachers that gave me the opportunity to get started. i didn't know how hard it was!
nick found out he's on the president's list at his college for his good grades last semester! that was a morale booster. it gave him a little jolt of energy to try and do as well again this semester. i'm sure he will. he's taking 18 credit hours this semester, half of which are online courses, which is a new thing for him. he started out not doing too well with the online thing, but now that he knows what's expected, he's doing better.
oh, and he's not working at panera anymore. we'll miss all those free carbs. he's put his name in to substitute teach on the days he doesn't have class, but mostly he's focusing on his studies. i like having him home more - it feels more peaceful to not have him running off to work a shift at random times of the day.
don't take that to mean that we're slimming down or anything though - i've hit my hibernating bear stride with gusto - i can't seem to get enough food these days! if i don't cut back, i'm going to be rolling out of the house. it's the cursed ice cream. i just love it too much, even in the cold of winter.
i'm so proud of my friend casey - she's set a goal to lose 100 pounds this year! she's an inspiration to me.
maybe if this weather ever gets more spring-like i'll be more enthused about exercising.
sigh.
anyhow, that's all the news from our little world. i can't promise that i'll be better at blogging... i want to be, but that doesn't amount to much these days. good intentions and all... this time of year is draining on my brain. i feel like i'm in a fog, no matter how much rest i get. it's probably the lack of sunshine.
i've taken to napping after school lately & that's revolutionizing my evenings - maybe it'll give me the extra energy to start blogging again.
we'll see.
happy weekend to you all!
let's see, what's new...
i've had a student teacher in my classroom the last 4 weeks... that's something. there are 3 art teachers at my school so we each have the student teacher for 2 classes during the day. when the head of the art department told me about it at the beginning of the semester, my first thought was, 'wait, don't you have to be a teacher for 5 years to have a student teacher?' but then i realized - oh yeah, this is my 6th year! time sure does fly when you're not looking! having her student teach has been quite the experience. i've discovered that it's extremely hard to have a student teacher. it's hard to share my classroom and give up that time when i would have taught certain things to my classes but couldn't. i have to decide if i'm going to go back and re-teach what she taught or just skip over it and count it a loss for those two classes. i also feel sad to not have had those kids - it's like i spent time developing relationships but then had to hand them over to someone else and step aside. i haven't liked it. makes me look back on my student teaching and be thankful for the teachers that gave me the opportunity to get started. i didn't know how hard it was!
nick found out he's on the president's list at his college for his good grades last semester! that was a morale booster. it gave him a little jolt of energy to try and do as well again this semester. i'm sure he will. he's taking 18 credit hours this semester, half of which are online courses, which is a new thing for him. he started out not doing too well with the online thing, but now that he knows what's expected, he's doing better.
oh, and he's not working at panera anymore. we'll miss all those free carbs. he's put his name in to substitute teach on the days he doesn't have class, but mostly he's focusing on his studies. i like having him home more - it feels more peaceful to not have him running off to work a shift at random times of the day.
don't take that to mean that we're slimming down or anything though - i've hit my hibernating bear stride with gusto - i can't seem to get enough food these days! if i don't cut back, i'm going to be rolling out of the house. it's the cursed ice cream. i just love it too much, even in the cold of winter.
i'm so proud of my friend casey - she's set a goal to lose 100 pounds this year! she's an inspiration to me.
maybe if this weather ever gets more spring-like i'll be more enthused about exercising.
sigh.
anyhow, that's all the news from our little world. i can't promise that i'll be better at blogging... i want to be, but that doesn't amount to much these days. good intentions and all... this time of year is draining on my brain. i feel like i'm in a fog, no matter how much rest i get. it's probably the lack of sunshine.
i've taken to napping after school lately & that's revolutionizing my evenings - maybe it'll give me the extra energy to start blogging again.
we'll see.
happy weekend to you all!
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